SVP URGENT REDACTION EN ANGLAIS AIDE AUX FAUTES SVP . . .

SVP URGENT REDACTION EN ANGLAIS AIDE AUX FAUTES SVP . . . - Aide aux devoirs - Emploi & Etudes

Marsh Posté le 30-11-2009 à 18:21:15    

Voici ma redaction , je doit faire un Thriller au prétérit .  
Je vous demande silvouplait de m'aider a corriger les fautes  . J'ai du mal en anglais j'ai fait de mon mieu . . .
Merci d'avance . . Ces pour demain . Je vous demande en dernier recours car chez moi personne ne peut m'aider  
 
Merci .  
 
Mrs. Maloney   lived  with  her husband Jerry who  was a policeman .  They lived in San Francisco .  Mrs. Maloney was very jealous while Jason was a husband very independent .  
Jason investigated  on an investigated who was very important .  Many women were murdered .  They were  stab in the heart  on each scene of  crime there were  banknotes and a  knife. .But they haven’t foot print  the knife was always carefully cleaned and the banknotes was no print  . Why leave the weapon of the crime ? . The first woman was murdered at her house in the night . And they each other was murdered at the same hours: 00h00. It was very strange because Mrs. Maloney knew every casualty. With they woman he had  run any party .  This history of crime made it sick. In a night he was going to drink water in the kitchen and he  was surprised to saw his wife Mrs. Maloney who returned of outside. She dressed a tee shirt white covered of blood and in her hand she has any banknotes .  
Mr. Maloney was terrified ! Mrs. Maloney explained everything at Mr. Maloney .  
En effect she had make every crimes , she was very jealous and  she  can’t  bear   see  Mr. Maloney with other woman . She had take a knife and she had waited  in front the house of every woman who was more friendly with her husband   and when they was sleeping she had break a window , she was going in  her bedroom and she had  stick knife into her heart . Mr. Maloney was afraid  although he loves her he decided to stop. This crime was terrible. He wanted  keep the phone for called  the police  but his wife  didn’t want to go in prison  , she had tacked the knife who was in her bag and she stick the knife into her heart .  Next time, she commits suicide . She prefer be dead  than lived without her .

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Marsh Posté le 30-11-2009 à 18:21:15   

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Marsh Posté le 30-11-2009 à 18:26:42    

Personne pour m'aider ? Silvouplaiit !

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Marsh Posté le 30-11-2009 à 18:37:21    

Mrs. Maloney   lived  with  her husband Jerry who  was a policeman .  They lived in San Francisco .  Mrs. Maloney was very jealous while Jason was a very independent husband.    
Jason investigated  on a very important case . Many women were murdered .  They were  stabbed in the heart  and on each scene of  crime there were  banknotes and a  knife. .But no foot prints.  The knife was always carefully cleaned and so were the banknotes  . Why leave the weapon of the crime ? . The first woman was murdered at her house in the night . And the others were murdered at the same hours: 00h00. It was very strange because Mrs. Maloney knew every casualty. With every women he had had a party(?) .  This history of crime made it sick. In a night he was going to drink water in the kitchen and he  was surprised to see his wife Mrs. Maloney who returned from outside. She was dressed in a white tee shirt covered with blood and in her hand she had many banknotes .  
Mr. Maloney was terrified ! Mrs. Maloney explained everything to Mr. Maloney .  
in fact she had made every crimes , she was very jealous and  she  couldn't  bear   see  Mr. Maloney with an other woman . She had taken a knife and she had waited  in front the house for every woman who was more friendly with her husband   and when they were sleeping she had broken a window ,then she went in  her bedroom and she  sticked knife into her heart . Mr. Maloney was afraid  although he loved her he decided toarrest her. This crime was terrible. He wanted  to call  the police  but his wife  didn’t want to go in prison  , she had taken the knife which was in her bag and she sticked the knife into hisheart .  Next , she committed suicide . She preferred to be dead  than to live without him .


Message édité par lolot229 le 30-11-2009 à 18:38:53
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Marsh Posté le 30-11-2009 à 18:57:33    

Merci beaucoup de votre aide ces trés gentil! .

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Marsh Posté le 30-11-2009 à 19:02:48    

j espère que ça vous aidera à progresser
 
même si je ne suis pas moi même très très bon en anglais...
 
bon courage

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Marsh Posté le 02-08-2011 à 17:41:42    

Bonjour !  
J'ai un travail de vacance en anglais pour lequel je dois faire le resume de 4textes. Pour le reussir au mieux, pouvez vous m'aider a les corriger ? Merci beaucoup d'avance !  
 
Voici le premier resumé:
 
Francais:
Bien que certains d’américains gardent beaucoup d’appréhensions concernant la peine de mort. Elle est toujours de mise dans beaucoup d’états..
Cependant suite a plusieurs a annulation comme celle de Willaim Castiollo qui fut innocente juste avant son exécution grâce a un test ADN, crée débat a propos de la égalité de cette pratique qui consiste a injecter un produit puis un deuxième ainsi qu’un troisième pour masqué les effets des 2er donnant l’impression que le prisonnier ne souffre pas. C’est pourquoi des procès on été ouvert au Texas et on Kentucky. Ils demandent une reforme de la loi sur l’application de cette peine ainsi qu’un élargissement de celle-ci pour les récidivistes et les pédophiles. Jusqu'à ce que cette reforme sois prise, toute les peine de mort sont suspendues.
D'autre part  Anita Dunn soutenue par le gouverneur républicain de Illinois demande l'abolition de cette peine.
 
Anglais:
Although lots of Americans retain some misgivings about the death penalty. It is still appropriate in many states.
However following more cancellations like William Castillo that he had been cleared just before his excution, creates debate about the legality of this practic, which involves injecting a product and then a second and a third to hide the effects of the first two giving the impression that the prisoner does not suffer.. Therefore Some cases have been opened in Texas and Kentucky. they demand a reform of the law on the application of capital punishment and a elagant of this one torecidivistent and pedophiles. Until this reform, all death penalty is suspended.
Moreover Anita Dunn supported by the Republican governor of Illinois called for the abolition of the death penalty.

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Marsh Posté le 02-08-2011 à 19:09:13    

Déjà la partie en français n'est.... pas très français !  
 
C'est pour quel niveau ? Le texte d'origine est en français ou en anglais?

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