object: Job ID: R00000000000477
 
Dear Ms. Barbra Cain
 
Your advertisement in the website www.hotjobs.com of the 01/20/2003 caught my attention. I strongly would like to work in the promotions departement of your company. Moreover, Westward Innovations has a growth notority.
 
I am student in second-year of Communication and Advertising in a Technological University in Strasbourg, France. I am at present specialized in direct marketing, sales promotions and planning. During a five-weeks intership in an events agency, I improved my organising and negotiation skills. As my last communication operation, I leaded a campain against tobacco.  
 
I have an energic personnality, so I am always dynamic in my work. I also have great adaptation and resistance to the stress capacities, even when under pressure.
 
I hope my credentials will interest you and I would be pleased to come to an interview.
 
I look forward to meeting you.
 
Yours sincerely

 
Spamal d'apres ce que j'ai lu, par contre, remplace le "so" par "thus" ca "sonne" mieux ( me demande pas pourquoi, je me mets a corriger a l'orielle, ptet le fait d'en entendre 24h/24. )
 
Ah aussi,ca, elle s'en fout : I am student in second-year of Communication and Advertising in a Technological University in Strasbourg, France . Dis lui a quel niveau c'est equivalent aux states surtout, et quels sont tes majors. Sinon c'est sympa
 
Dommage que ce soie une lettre de motiv francaise transcrite en anglais cependant. Va peter un oeil sur le net, y a plein d'exemples, et les lettres de motiv des USA sont tres differentes des notres. Elles sont plus ciblees, plus blabla.
 
Va peter un oeil  
 
Apres relecture :
 
I strongly would like to work in the promotions departement of your company. Moreover, Westward Innovations has a growth notority.
 
=>L'enchainement des deux phrases est naze et a revoir totalement... ca fait meublement et essai de lechage a fond. En plus je mettrai growing ( style ca grandit encore) que growth qui suggere, si c'est correct( ce dont je doute) que c'est fini, ca grandit plus => phase de declin.
 
I am at present specialized in direct marketing, sales promotions and planning.
 
=> currently ( et attention ca voudrait dire que c'estsujet a changement ).
 
As my last communication operation, I leaded a campain against tobacco.  
 
=> Tabagism ( contre le tabac ca veut rien dire... )
 
I have an energic personnality, so I am always dynamic in my work. I also have great adaptation and resistance to the stress capacities, even when under pressure.
 
=> alors la c'est un peu fendart quand meme. Tu es enerique donc dynamique ( on s'en doute, le repete pas). Pareil, si tu as une grande capacite d'adaptation et de resistance, on s'en doute que c'est quand tu es sous pression que ca sera le plus utile ( mais ca tu peux laisser, si tu veux vraiment insister).
 
Bon ben note pour plus tard : Toujours relire deux fois un truc a corriger.
 
Bref, ve au dodo moua
 
   
 
PS : je viens de me relire et en gros c'est bien mais tout a revoir. Demain, promis, j'arrete de fumer.

Dear Sir,
 
I am a foreign student applying for a Master's Degree in
Computer Sciences in Europe. From March 2005 to September
2005 I have to do an internship in a Company. I am very
interested by doing it in New Zealand : to discover its
great culture, its people and an environment of work. Such
an experience would improve my English Talk and would be an
important stage in my life on a professional level as well
as a personal level.
 
Thus, I allow myself to address to you my candidature for a
training period as I saw that your domain speciality in IT
is in perfect adequation with my skills, in particular with
Java development.
 
I am very motivated to work abroad. I am capable of
adaptation with relative ease. I would be pleased to
integrate a team and share talents.
 
My detailed CV is attached for consideration of my candidature.
 
Yours faithfully,
 
qu'en pensez-vous ?

 
english skills

very motivated --> highly?
 
energic blabla: redite +1
le mot à la mode est "pro(-)active" je pense. Si tu peux l'insérer dans une phrase courte (l'anglais, c'est plus court et plus direct qu'en français. Le moins possible de participes passés par exemple, jamais alambiqué.)

 
c'est plein de fautes
pas le temps de corriger maintenant

 
Voilà, c'est certainement pas le Pérou, mais c'est déjà mieux. Quel est ton niveau en Master's? Je connais pas trop le système neo-zélandais mais il est de bon aloi de préciser (si cela peut te désservir) :
- ton niveau en Master's  
- l'université dans laquelle le Master's est effectué, et si possible la  placer parmi d'autres universités.

Dear XXX,  
 
An internship in industry is part of my Master's Degree programme in  
Computer Sciences in Strassbourg, France.
During my research, your offer on the hotjobs site captured my attention.  Indeed: New Zealand is an ideal place to expand my personal horizons and improve important professional skills.
 
My education and strong skills in Java development match perfectly with the activities of your organization and I easily adapt to new social environments.  I am convinced that my integration in a team of your company will be a rich experience for all involved.
 
I am looking forward to your reply.  My CV is attached, but should you require any complementary information, do not hesitate to contact me.  
 
Sincerely
 
 
qu'en pensez-vous ?  
 
 
 
Thus : ca ne se dit pas trop ('vieux').  Mieux -> Therefore.
Enfin, j'ai raccourci la lettre: moins, c'est plus!
Les element techniques vont dans le CV, mais on peut repeter les elements les plus importants (max 2) dans la lettre.  Ici, j'ai compris que c'est le java.
Est-ce ma lettre vaut une invitation???

merci pour vos remarques pertinentes.
je vais composer avec.

Je fait une étude de documents, je bloque sur certains points de mon écrit,veuillez m'indiquer si c'est correct ou pas svp.
 
 
[...] an extract of an article wrote by p. barker published on the international herald tribune of 21st june of 1997.
 
voila c'est surtout au niveau de cette phrase que ca bloque et plus particuliérement sur la date et si je dis published on.
 
Merci

 
[...] an extract of an article wrote by p. barker published on the international herald tribune, June 21st, 1997.
 
Ca ca me semble bieng

extract -> sample ?

sample=échantillon
extract=extrait
 
donc non je laisserais extract

Ok merci

à propos de la lettre de motivation
en lien un exemple "officiel"
http://www.internshipusa.org/train [...] cover.html

 
... an excerpt of an article written by P. Barker published in the International Herald Tribune on June 21st, 1997.

drapal, pas mal ce topic

Je donne le_top gagnant comme conseil en urgence en cover letters.lol
Ceci dit, pour ceux qui jouent les gros lots ds des secteurs exigeants, on reste loin de ce qui se fait sur le marché et il vaut mieux voir ça avec un anglophone (ou quasi), de préférence exerçant en entreprise...pas évident, je sais.

est ce que vous pouvez me dire ce que vous pensez de  ma lettre de motivation : fautes d'anglais surtout mais egalement sur le contenu. c'est pour un poste à sagem avionics seattle

Dear Madam,  
 
Safran has almost a unique part in avionics systems integration and huge project coordination.  I am interested in the sector as well as the job. I’m extremely motivated for working in a leading company and an exciting background such as yours. Indeed you can notice that I have worked nine months in EADS Space Transportation on launchers, six months in Sagem defence on avionics systems and four months in Thales UK. In addition, my studies dealt with aeronautics last year.
Furthermore, I appreciate to work on avionics systems design. I now have enough experience on embedded systems since I focused on navigation system in EADS, on inertial reference system in Sagem and on information system in Thales. Then I can be quickly efficient. I like having a wide view of a system. And I’m sure the horizontal organization of Sagem enables to be involved from requirements through development to acceptance. I like industrial systems, automatic control and industrial computing such as real time object oriented languages, database design. I would like to make use of those skills.  
I have already worked and communicated successfully in the UK as engineer (4 months). I liked being faced with different cultures. Since the international culture is undoubtedly in USA, I would really appreciate working in Sagem Avionics US. I am ready to do it now.  
 
From my curriculum vitae, you can see that the field of my studies is general engineering with a specialisation in “Automatic control and industrial computing” and project management and system specification skills from my Master. I have a strong background in Computing such as C++, java, real time, specifications design thanks to UML, database design (Oracle, Access, SQL) and electronic knowledge. My colleagues from Sagem defence in France or from Thales in the UK can confirm it if you wish.
Through several training periods and the different projects I have managed I have acquired a sound experience of teamwork and developed concrete organisational and analytical skills. Furthermore my associative extra curricular activities (organizer, sailing instructor…) give evidences that I am self-motivated, autonomous and have good communication skills.
My school teaches us to learn new technology fast and from my studies and in the past I have learned what working hard means to succeed.
 
In hope that my abilities will meet your needs, I look forward to hearing from you soon,
 
Yours sincerely,