Devoir d'Anglais.. Aide pour corriger les fautes.

Marsh Posté le 22-10-2008 à 20:22:10

Bonjours à tous ^^
J'ai un devoir à rendre pour demain en cours d'anglais, je l'ai fais, mais j'ai peur d'avoir encore beaucoup de fautes, alors, merci de m'aider à les corriger..

Le but du devoir est est assez étrange, enfin, quand on ne connais pas mon prof xD Il est un peu barré. En gros, on a assisté à un faux défilé de mode, dans lequel les gens portaient des habits de marques, et dénoncaient avec le travail clandestin... Bref, le sujet n'est pas le plus important, ce qui m'embête c'est surtout les fautes que j'ai fais...

Voilà :

On the october 2nd 2008, I went to a fashion show, in my school. It was a show about fashion but also a show for denouncing sweat-shops and Child Labour. A lot of mark were there. We can saw Adidas, Nike, Gap, Zara, H&M...et cetera.
The models were very elegant and beautiful, but inside this glorious scenery there was a real message about life and misery ! When a model marched on the podium someone commented the clothes that she wearing, and gave informations about the people who made this cloth.
We learnet many things about the conditions of the workers in poor countries. There was very interesting but also very depressing !
For exemple, we learnet that often the workers are very young. They work many hours a week, but their wages are insignificant.

Huum, voilà pour le moment, j'espere que c'est pas trop horrible xD
Merci d'avance !
j'attend vos réponses, et corrections

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Marsh Posté le 22-10-2008 à 20:22:10

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Marsh Posté le 22-10-2008 à 20:53:55

Ohh merci beaucoup !
Oulalalaaa, j'avais quand même pas mal de faute. *shame on me*

Merci encore pour toutes ces corrections !

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Marsh Posté le 22-10-2008 à 22:53:43

Citation :

On October 2nd 2008, I attended to a fashion show in my school. It was a show about fashion but also a show to denounce sweat-shops and Child Labour. Many well-known brands were here for this event. We could see famous brands such as Adidas, Nike, Gap, Zara, H&M...
Top-models were very elegant and beautiful, but inside this glorious view, there was a real message about life and misery ! When a model walked on the podium, a speaker commented the clothes she wore, and gave informations about people who had manufacturated these clothes.
We learnt many things about workers' conditions in poor countries. It was very interesting but also very depressing !
For example, we learnt that the workers are often very young. They work many hours a day, but their wages are still insignificant.

Il y avait encore quelques petites fautes ^^.

Message cité 1 fois
Message édité par Meloti le 23-10-2008 à 08:56:49

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When I Was Trapped In The Darkness And Couldn't See The Light, I Was Waiting For The Helping Hand...

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Marsh Posté le 23-10-2008 à 03:10:15

'We learned' aussi peut-être ? :sarcastic:

Message cité 1 fois
Message édité par Shouhai le 24-10-2008 à 15:39:05

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Marsh Posté le 24-10-2008 à 00:23:31

Shouhai a écrit :

'We learned' aussi peut-être ? :sarcastic:

Les deux sont justes.

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Marsh Posté le 24-10-2008 à 04:58:18

Ca dépends... C'est pour du British ou de l'Américain ?

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Marsh Posté le 24-10-2008 à 10:58:33

Meloti a écrit :

Citation :

On October 2nd 2008, I attended a fashion show in my school. --> or you could say: I attended a fashion show that my school hosted.

It was a show about fashion but also a show to denounce to raise awareness on the issues of...

sweat-shops and Child Labour. Many well-known brands were ~~here~~ there for this event. We could see famous brands such as Adidas, Nike, Gap, Zara, H&M...

Top-models Top models were very elegant and beautiful, but inside this glorious view --> don't know what that means

there was a real message about life and misery ! When a model walked on the ~~podium~~ runway, a speaker commented on the clothes she wore, and gave informations--> always singular
about people who had manufacturated these clothes.
We learnt many things--> we learned a lot?

about workers conditions --> working conditions
in poor countries. It was very interesting but also very depressing !
For example, we learnt that the workers are often very young. They work many hours a day, but their wages are still insignificant.

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Devoir d'Anglais.. Aide pour corriger les fautes.

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